Drunks, Lovers, Sinners and Saints
by LINAxx
Summary: It was the summer of Love, friendship, heart break, and betrayal. It was the summer of Drugs, alcohol, IM, and McDonalds. It was one summer, and it was the summer that changed everything. Nilly NatexLilly Shilly ShanexLilly . HM/CR crossover.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! Alright, I'm back. Sort of. If you aren't already a fan of me and have no knowledge of me or my previous writing, feel free to skip this, because it may not make sense. So, as everyone probably already knows, ABY was deleted. It **_**will**_** be back up soon. For information on it, please go to my profile and read **_**Updates- Anyone But You**_**. And If you want to help out in getting it back up as soon as possible, please PM me. **

**Anyways, New story. I've been thinking about writing this for a very long time. It's not going to be a 'full' story. The chapters most likely will not be as long as ABYs chapters. They'll be anywhere between 2000 on the short end and 5000 on the **_**very**_** long end.** **It's going to take place over the course of the summer, and will be maybe ten or less chapters unless I get really into writing it. This first chapter is mainly IMs, sorry. IMs are going to play a large part in the story though, as will texts and phone calls. I'm trying out a bit of a different writing style, so if it doesn't make sense, **_**please tell me**_** before I get too into it. Anyways, enjoy DLSS as a distraction until ABY is back up and running. **

**Drunks, Lovers, Sinners and Saints**

Chapter One

Backspace. Backspace. Backspace. As I erased the name from the very last part of my life. Four letters, and four months. It really never should have meant that much to me, but it did. I guess it was all in the way it happened; the way that everything changed in just one small moment. The way we were perfect and then the way we were nothing. But looking back, we were _never_ perfect. We were anything but that. We were dysfunctional, and if I was going to be brutally honest, I had been questioning this for weeks. But it was over now, and I would force myself to move on. To learn, and to grow, and try as hard as I possibly could to pretend that he never even existed. Four months, four letters. February to May. And the missing words after my instant messaging screen name, 'Matt (L)'.

I was sitting on the black swivel chair in front of my desk. I had papers strewn around my room, and clothes all over the floor. My laptop was open on my desk, and I was staring at the screen. To my left was my cell phone. Ring, ring, ring. Just like the last few hours. The caller ID read a ten digit number, one I knew well. The caller ID read a number, that would have been a name if I hadn't deleted it from my contact list hours ago. But I couldn't hear the ring ring ring of the phone, because I had the beat of music in my ears from the headphones connected to my computer. I had the blare of angry broken heart music playing loudly. Loud enough to block out everything but the screen I was staring at. That familiar _dun dun dun_ interrupted my music as I received an instant message on my Lola IM. The box popped up in the corner of my screen, partially blocking the main screen of my Lilly account. Still I stared. I stared at the emptiness. _xLilly!-- _It should have said _Matt(L)_ after that. It should have, but it didn't. It would have, but it didn't. It could have, but I would never go so low.

+HannahBananah says: Lolaa!

I stared at the message. It was a conference conversation. There were two other people added. Two that I knew of, but didn't really know. But then again, it wouldn't be much of a shock to learn that I didn't really know someone I thought I did. It was happening all too often lately. It was becoming too much of a habit.

+HannahBananah says: Lolaaaaa, you there?

The other two were silent, waiting. Neither of them spoke, or even attempted to. The conversation had an odd awkward air about it that no one besides Miley dared to break. The only reason I moved from my position was to grab the ice tea next to me and take a sip, watching this play out. Those two messages were becoming more lonely by the moment. Everyone felt the tension, I was sure. I was clearly online, and I was clearly watching the screen. Miley wasn't on her Miley account, so she probably didn't notice those missing words that made this all the more weird. She didn't notice those missing words that made this cheeriness almost highly inappropriate. I typed.

!Lolaa.: says: No.

Was that rude? Or was it honest? Was it me trying to tell her I didn't want to talk? Or was it me trying to create an unneeded problem? Was it sarcastic? Was it joking? Did they read it with a smile? A laugh? A frown? Did they furrow their eyebrows, or did they raise them? Was I reading too much into this? Or was I not looking at all the angles well enough? My hands instantly pressed against my forehead, and I breathed in. Calm, collected, happy. Never let them know. Don't let on.

!Lolaa.: says: Haha, of course I am. Uh, Hello everybody?

Fake fake fake. I was so fake. I was acting, sending out the smiles they thought I should have. Was I overreacting? Should I really care this much? Had I ever loved him, and had it really been as sudden as I convinced myself it was? No. I really hadn't, and it really hadn't either. Calm, collected happy. Just pretend. _Dun dun dun._

-ShaneGray says: Hi Lola.  
' Nate; says: Heyy.

Shane and Nate. Connect three without number three. To be honest, I couldn't care less where Jason was supposed to be. I really couldn't care less that I was supposed to be talking to Shane and Nate either. They were celebrities. So what? Was I supposed to care? Miley was a celebrity, but I didn't treat her any different. Hell, _I_ was a celebrity. And that definitely didn't entitle me to anything special. Proof of this would be today's earlier events. Today's horrible events that would erase a large, hidden part of my life. A part of my life that no one would ever need to know about as long as I pretended. We broke up, thats all they ever needed to know. Thats all I would ever have to say.

!Lolaa.: says: ...Hi.

Awkward and typical. Just like everything else today. Just like everything else from this point on, forever and ever.

+HannahBananah says: Lolaa, :) This is Shane and Nate.

Did she think I was stupid? Or possibly blind? Did she think I couldn't tell who they were by reading their screen names. Connect three, without number three. Hadn't we gone through this already? Introductions were over, couldn't she see that? Maybe she was the blind one. Or maybe she was the one that was right. Maybe I was blind. I must've been if I hadn't seen it coming until then. Until that one sentence that ruined it all. Those four words from those four letters to describe those four months. _We're moving too slow_. I should have known.

!Lolaa.: says: I know.

Awkward and typical. Just like I had described. No one said anything, and no one made an attempt to. No one tried to ease the tension, and start something at least somewhat normal. But this day was destined to be anything but normal for me. It's events would forever be in my memories. Something that would change my entire outlook, and something that would deeply effect the days to come. Something that would affect this very conversation. It was something that would never let the awkwardness ease away.

!Lolaa.: says: Awkward, much?  
' Nate; says: Tell me about it.

Agreement. Something I needed in that moment. I needed someone to tell me I was right. That what I said had some element of truth to it. That I knew what I was talking about. He gave that to me. He told me I was right. That he knew what I was talking about. And it was just a tiny piece of the assurance I really needed. I needed to be told I was right. That what I _did_ was right, because there was no going back. There was no do-overs, and no rewind button. This was it.

-ShaneGray says: Soooo

Uncertainty, hm? _Soooo_ what happens next? The ever unanswered question of life. What does happen next? Which steps to take, and which doors to close. Ring, ring, ring, the cell phone rang. Ten digit number on Caller ID. One glance, and then I looked back. I stared at the screen for so long. The ever present _Soooo_ staring back at me. How was I supposed to answer that? How was I supposed to come up with something to tell him how wrong he was. I did love him, I did. But I really didn't, I didn't. What happens next?

!Lolaa.: says: So what next?  
' Nate; says: So what's up with everyone?  
!Lolaa.: says: Nothing.

Oh, how I wished. But then again, nothing might be up, but nothing was looking up either.

' Nate; says: Same actually, for once.  
-ShaneGray says: Well, I wish I was doing nothing. Actually, technically, I am doing nothing at the moment, but I'm leaving soonish.

+HannahBananah says: Agreed. I have a magazine interview in about half an hour.  
!Lolaa.: says: I cleared my schedule for today. I'm not up to much.

+HannahBananah says: Well clear your schedule for next Saturday too :)  
!Lolaa.: says: And why is that?

+HannahBananah says: Becauseeee! Nate and Shane are going to be in Malibu.  
!Lolaa.: says: Point being?

-ShaneGray says: Ouch Lola. That hurts.  
!Lolaa.: says: No offense, but I don't really know you guys. We've never talked before now.

' Nate; says: True enough.

And it was true. Who were they to think they were so important to me? Who were they to say I should care if I saw them or not? Who was _Miley _to say I should clear my Saturday for _them_? After one conversation they didn't mean much to me. They weren't worth a Saturday, but neither were the people I'd been wasting my Saturdays on for the past four months.

!Lolaa.: says: I'll see what I can do, alright?  
+HannahBananah says: Can't you reschedule with Matt _one_ Saturday?

' Nate; says: Who's Matt?  
-ShaneGray says: Yeah, Who's Matt?

+HannahBananah says: Lola's Boyfriend.  
!Lolaa.: says: Make that ex boyfriend, thanks.

_Ex. Ex. Ex_. Ex boyfriend. Ex friend. Ex everything. No more Saturdays. No more hugs. No more kisses. No more _I love you_s. Not that it ever meant anything to begin with, did it? Did I ever mean it? Were the _I love you_s anything more than just words out of my mouth? Letters, syllables, sounds without a meaning. Without that emotion. I liked him, I did. But did I love him? I never loved him like _she_ did, that much I knew. And I never would be able to love him the way _she_ did. Never. And I would never want to after today.

+HannahBananah says: Wait, what? When did this happen?  
!Lolaa.: says: Earlier today.  
+HannahBananah says: Oh?  
!Lolaa.: says: We both agreed. No worries.

No worries. I wish that were the case, but its not. Worries. Thats life. Thats my life. That _was_ my life. I can't say I didn't know, because somewhere, I did. I had known, and I had worried. I had worried that I was going to loose him, and eventually, I did on my own terms. The worries had been eating me whole, but I had ignored them until I could no more. Until he confirmed the worries and made them all go away. Made the worries nightmares, and the nightmares fact. But that was all over now.

+HannahBananah says: Ugh. We'll talk later Lilly. I really have to go. Bye Guys!  
-ShaneGray says: Ditto actually. See you.

And then they were gone as quickly as they came. Whether it was an IM conversation or life, it was true for everything. Nothing ever lasted as long as I would have liked it to. A few moments and then it was all so suddenly disappearing. Then nothing. The same nothing that was looking up for me.

I leaned to the side and grabbed the glass of ice tea off the desk. I stared at the screen again. Back to square one. The conversation was open, the last few words reading back at me. At the top there was a bar. One that clearly read, _You do not have ' Nate; on your contact list. Click here to add him/her._ To click, or not to click, that was the question? Well no, not really. It was a really bad remake of Hamlet, thats what it was. And the uncertainty came again. _Soooo_, what comes next? And before I clicked, he did all the work for me. The box I had been staring down moments ago disappeared, and a brand new one popped up. _' Nate; has added you to his/her contact list. Accept or Decline? _And I chose the only obvious answer. I accepted it just as well as I had accepted every other aspect of today. I took the change for the better and gave it a chance. Thats what change is all about, isn't it? Chances, and taking those chances without ever looking back and regretting it.

' Nate; says: Well, hello again.  
!Lolaa.: says: Wow. It's been forever, hasn't it?

' Nate; says: Oh, of course. Ages.  
!Lolaa.: says: Aren't you oh, so interesting today.

' Nate; says: My bad. I didn't know I was supposed to be.  
!Lolaa.: says: Entertain me.

' Nate; says: Why do I have to do the entertaining? :P

And I smiled. It wasn't anything corny as if it was the first smile in three years, or at all that day. It wasn't as if I'd endured a horrible, horrible tragedy and he'd made it all better. It was a smile. Not even a full one, just half a smile. A simple smile that had been waiting for someone to pull it out anyways. It wasn't _him_. It just was. It was the sarcasm in his words and the smile in his own text. How could I not?

!Lolaa.: says: Well, at least tell me something interesting.  
' Nate; says: I'm not interesting, trust me. You tell me something.

!Lolaa.: says: I once had a goldfish named Nate.  
' Nate; says: Haha. Thats random, not interesting. You fail.

!Lolaa.: says: But random _is_ interesting, so it's technically a double win.  
' Nate; says: Oh, your good.

!Lolaa.: says: Tell me something I _don't_ know.  
' Nate; says: Well, I've never met someone with purple hair until now.

!Lolaa.: says: You haven't met me yet, DF.  
' Nate; says: DF?

!Lolaa.: says: Well, it means Dead Fish, but for your sake, lets pretend it means Doll Face ;)  
' Nate; says: I prefer Doll Face, cutie ;)

!Lolaa.: says: Who wouldn't?  
' Nate; says: Touche.

!Lolaa.: says: :)

And I did smile. I really did. Actually, I hadn't stopped. That half smile had become a three quarter one, and here we were. I couldn't place my finger on exactly why I wasn't frowning and droopy, and sad. I had an ex boyfriend, and free Saturdays. No hugs, kisses, or _I love you_s, and yet I was okay. I was okay with that, because he had never loved me either. Not like he had loved _her_. And that was okay, because I didn't want him to love me like that. I never loved him anyways.

' Nate; says: So what're you up to Miss Lola?  
!Lolaa.: says: Talking to you, Mr. Nate. What else would I be doing?

' Nate; says: Well, I figured your life must be at least a tad more exciting than mine.  
!Lolaa.: says: Oh, its not. Trust.

' Nate; says: Well, isn't that a ton of fun.  
!Lolaa.: says: Extremely.

' Nate; says: Aren't we interesting today?  
!Lolaa.: says: Tell me about you :)

' Nate; says: There isn't much to know. I'm seventeen. I'm a musician. Thats about it. Tell me about _you_.  
!Lolaa.: says: Theres even less to know. I'm seventeen. Thats it.

' Nate; says: I'm sure theres more to it than that.  
!Lolaa.: says: Nope. There isn't.

' Nate; says: Well, there must be more than what the tabloids say.  
!Lolaa.: says: The tabloids talk about me? Wow. I didn't know I was actually important.

' Nate; says: Of course you are! Don't you know? I read them specifically for you :P  
!Lolaa.: says: Oh hilarious, Nathaniel.

' Nate; says: I'm quite the comedian.

Ring. Ring. Ring. The cellular device sang out yet again. I didn't even spare it a glance as I let the smile continue to spread with each message. This was just the distraction I needed. With each _dun dun dun_ it drowned out the ever present _ring ring ring_ with the sound of music in the background. And I grew to love being Lola with each message, and liked being Lilly less with each call. Lola had no problems, no _worries. _She and her boyfriend had had a mutual break up, and she was perfectly fine. No matter how hard Lilly tried to pretend, she _wasn't_ fine. In the last twenty four hours she had gone from perfect to horrible, and just plain insecure. She loved being Lola. This was so much easier.

!Lolaa.: says: That you are.  
' Nate; says: So tell me something.

!Lolaa.: says: Why don't _you_ tell _me_ something.  
' Nate; says: Well what would you like to know? ;)

!Lolaa.: says: A secret.  
' Nate; says: What kind of secret?

!Lolaa.: says: An embarrassing one.  
' Nate; says: Hmmm. I can't say I have one.

!Lolaa.: says: Oh come on. Everyone has one.  
' Nate; says: Then you tell me one.

!Lolaa.: says: Nu uh, I asked you.  
' Nate; says: Ladies first.

!Lolaa.: says: Oh no. Your not allowed to pull that one on me.  
' Nate; says: I wasn't aware we had rules.

!Lolaa.: says: We did. Since 1962. :P  
' Nate; says: We weren't even born in 1962!

!Lolaa.: says: Don't get off track Mister. Where's my secret?  
' Nate; says: Dang. I thought I was home free.

!Lolaa.: says: That doesn't sound like an embarrassing secret to me.  
' Nate; says: Well. I have one that could make everything awkward.

!Lolaa.: says: Life is awkward. Deal.  
' Nate; says: True.

!Lolaa.: says: Get on with it boyyyy! ;)|  
' Nate; says: Well. I think I'm falling...

!Lolaa.: says: Off your chair?  
' Nate; says: No.

!Lolaa.: says: Then what?  
' Nate; says: For you.

!Lolaa.: says: Oh...  
' Nate; says: Awkward. I know.

!Lolaa.: says: No. :) Don't worry.  
|' Nate; says: ?

!Lolaa.: says: I have an awkward secret too.  
' Nate; says: Which is?

!Lolaa.: says: Ditto ;)

And thats how my next Saturday suddenly became free. But however free that Saturday would be, there would still be the constant _ring ring ring_ in my heart, and the repeats of earlier today. I never did love him like she did, and we never did move quite fast enough, and I don't think I ever would. I don't think I would loose myself for someone who never loved me like he loved _her_. But he never loved her, and he never did love at all. He loved control, and manipulation, and getting what he wanted. And it was clear, if I couldn't give him what he wanted, he didn't want me. But that was okay, it was okay, because this Saturday, I was free.

**A/N: I apologize for any confusion due to a slightly different writing style. Lilly's Breakup plays a large part in the story and will slowly be revealed. If anyone has any ideas on what you _think_ happened, or how it'll play a large part I'd love to hear your guesses. Anyways, tell me what you think so far in a review. I know it's a little blah, because its mostly introductory. Also, I'm leaning towards all chapters being in Lilly's POV, but I'm still kind of latching onto my old style. So tell me what you'd prefer. Anyways, Review please :)**

**ps. Anyone wanna help me to think of a last name for Nate? Connect three are _not_ brothers.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you SO MUCH to the reviewers. I want to sincerely apologize for the extreme delay in posting this. I was working on finishing up ABY, but besides that I really don't have an excuse. This chapter seems extremely rushed to me, and to be honest, I really wasn't quite 'feeling it'. It most definitely isn't my best work, though hopefully you enjoy it.**

Drunks, Lovers, Sinners and Saints

Chapter Two

There wasn't much else I could do except wait. It was ten o'clock on a Saturday morning and I was in a place that I usually wasn't. I was seated at my computer desk, listening to music and checking out numerous different websites. My mind was passing through so many thoughts and I was desperately trying to distract myself. I couldn't count the amount of times I'd told myself _deep breaths, deep breaths_.

Waking up this morning was difficult. I cried. It hadn't really fully sunk in until today. My Saturdays were free, and all that I had known to be true for the last four months was no more. The empty feeling and the fact that I had no where important to be made me want to run back to him. It made my heart tinge and I wanted to apologize. I wasn't sure exactly what I would be sorry for, but I thought that everything would go back to normal. But was normal really what I wanted anymore? Was normal any good for me? I had made my decision for a reason, a reason that I was trying to forget because I couldn't bare to be alone. I wanted someone to need _me,_ to want _me, _and I was trying to find some kind of acceptance. I guess thats what made it so easy for me to like Nate.

Now that I thought about it, I couldn't say there was much for me to like. He was a celebrity, and I had to admit that he wasn't hard on the eyes. But thats all I knew about him. I knew his music, what the tabloids wrote, and the few stories I'd heard from Miley. I knew his name was Nathaniel James Told and there was very little else. But that would all change today. My Saturday had been cleared, and then filled with plans again. These plans were different from any Saturday I'd had in such a long time. I wasn't sure I could deal with such a change. I wasn't sure that I wouldn't miss what was so familiar. However, I knew that this was a Saturday where I'd be learning a lot, and maybe I'd find a better way to spend these hours.

The plans were set for later today at one. _Hannah_ and _Lola_ were going to meet Shane and Nate at the mall, and then there was the possibility of hanging out at the beach or Rico's if things went well. Of course we were all going in disguises, which I thought was a little weird. I was Lilly, disguised as Lola, who was going to be disguised anyways. I wasn't sure how Miley expected me to cover up my _purple_ wig though. I'd have to search my closet for a hat and a pair of large sunglasses. On top of that, time was ticking away and I hadn't even begun to get ready yet. So instead of sitting around stirring my straw in my drink and reading internet articles, I pushed myself away from the desk.

My shower didn't take long, at the very most twenty minutes. Thankfully though, it wasn't necessary for me to actually do my hair since it was going to be under a wig. So the wig went on, a nice long, dark purple one. This was really going to be hard to cover up. I walked to my closet, opening it and looking through the hangers for an outfit. I figured I could just pick something from the "Lilly" closet because I didn't want to stand out today anyways. I pulled out a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and paired them with with a basic white, fitted tshirt. I grabbed a black Silverstein zip up hoodie off a hanger and then got dressed. Pretty average if I must say so myself. With a little extra time to spare, I twisted my wig up into a clip, making the purple a lot less noticeable, and placed a simple hat over top.

My cell phone rang next to me just as I was sliding my socks onto my feet and I spared it just a glance. It was Miley, so immediately I answered.

"Hi," I droned out, holding the cellular device between my ear and my shoulder. I stood up, looping a belt through my jeans and waiting for her response.

"Are you ready, its nearly one?" She asked. She seemed a little too peppy to just be hanging out with Shane and Nate. She'd met them before so I wasn't sure exactly why she was just _sooo_ ecstatic.

"Uh, yeah," Monotone again. Forgive me for not bouncing off the walls here.

"Okay! So, I'm going to be leaving in a couple minutes then, since your ready. Jackson's going to drop us off, okay?"

"Sure," I raised an eyebrow. Seriously, if either of us was excited it _should_ have at least been me. I hadn't met them before, and they were pretty major celebrities. _Almost_ nearing Hannah Montana status.

"Okay, so I was thinkinggg...." She drawled out. I could just tell she had that mischievous smile on her face. The one where she was plotting something up. Yeah, that one that I didn't like. I could only groan in response, waiting for what she would inevitably tell me.

"Since you and Matt broke up, I was thinking I could so set you up with S-"

"Mileyyy, No." I cut her off before I could even hear who. I think a week after a break up is much too soon to be playing the field. I mean really, come on. You've gotta give it some time. Even if our break up had been mutual, like Miley believed, a week still wasn't long enough. Four months wasn't a long time, that much I knew, but that didn't make me feel any less horrible. It didn't make our last words hurt any less. He had still meant the world to me for that short amount of time, and even if I could never take him back or forgive him, I still didn't want to move on quite yet.

"Lillyy! Come on, I-"

"Uh, Noooo!" Click. I hung up before she could try and talk me into it. She never would be able to, but that didn't mean I actually wanted to hear her try. I placed my cell phone back down on my desk and turned to my vanity to scrounge for a pair of large sunglasses. I found them in my second drawer within seconds. And then my phone went off again. Ugh.

"Miley, No. Okay?" I asked, picking it up and sliding the glasses over my eyes.

"Lilly...?" His voice cracked. I froze instantly. I felt my breath shudder as I breathed and my heart stopped. My eyes snapped shut and I tried not to cry as I listened to the silence on the other line.

"Lilly, please, you have to forg-" And I slipped the phone shut. My legs gave way and I ended up falling into my comfy black computer chair. I pulled my legs up to my chest and hugged them loosely. I opened my eyes, watching the ceiling carefully so that none of my tears would leak out and ruin my makeup. He was just a stupid boy.

He was a stupid boy who had gone and broken my heart. As much as I hated to admit it, it was so very true. I had liked him a lot. I couldn't say I'd loved him because I'd never had that experience. I'd never loved someone in the romantic sense, but if anyone came close, it was him. What hurt the absolute most was that I felt so conned, so cheated, as if none of this was really real. He'd played me, and he'd won to some extent. He hadn't gotten quite the prize he was looking for, but I knew for sure that I was the looser in this game. Deep breaths Lilly, Deep breaths. Pull it together.

In just moments any sense of calm, or happiness was gone. I wasn't looking forward to the mall today, and I didn't want to see Nate or Shane. Those very few words, just the sound of his voice had me falling apart. I desperately wanted to break down. I had cried this morning, yes, but I honestly had never had the break up depression. I think in all of this I was more angry than I was upset. I had told him I had never wanted to speak with him again, that I never wanted to see him for the rest of my life. But those are pretty big statements to make about someone you've dated for four months and had been friends with since freshman year. However, as much as I wanted that breakdown, I knew I needed to pull it together. Miley was already on her way and I didn't want her to know. I didn't want her to know about all the secrets I'd been keeping from her. Most of all, I didn't want her to know that I wasn't okay.

"Lilly!" My mom's voice called up the steps, "Miley's here!" I pulled a deep breath into my lungs and steadied myself on my feet. I dabbed around my eyes and checked in the vanity mirror quickly to make sure that all my makeup was still in place. Sliding the sunglasses back onto my eyes I opened my door and left all the bad feelings behind.

The steps creaked as I jogged down them with as much fake excitement as I could muster. Miley was downstairs picking at her nails all decked out in her Hannah attire. She had her blond wig up in a low side ponytail and the hood of her sweater covering her head. She too had on a pair of jeans, and these cute little red flats on her feet. She looked up when she heard me coming and smiled, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the wall of my hallway.

"What?" I asked. It sounded somewhat rude I guess, but she was my best friend so she wouldn't take it that way. I eyed her as she did the same to me, raising my eyebrow. "Um, right." I added, looking away from her and riffling through the coat closet for my shoes. It took me a few moments to find them, but once I did, I slapped them onto the ground and slid both my feet into them. They were loose DC skater shoes, so I didn't really find the need to tie them up properly. The car honked outside and then the two of us ushered out of my house pretty quickly. We both skipped up the driveway, hopping into Jackson's car, Miley in the front and me in the back of course, and then were off to the mall.

If it were up to me, we had gotten to the mall much too soon. Not just in the literal sense because it wasn't even one o'clock yet, but I still had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I guess it was bound to stay there. Its not like it was really going to go away any time soon considering it had only been _one_ week. One week was just enough to let it fully sink in for me. One week was just enough for the anger to fade and leave me with this awful- I didn't even know what it was exactly, but it was horrible.

"So as I was saying before you rudely hung up on me," Miley smiled, nudging me as we got out of the car and walked across the parking lot. I could only roll my eyes at her persistence. I couldn't see how she could think that I would really want this.

"No," I responded bluntly. I opened the entrance door to the mall and allowed her to enter first.

"But you could-"

"No,"

"But he's really-"

"No,"

"And I already-"

"I said no, okay?!" I almost yelled, turning to her. I tried desperately not to attract attention to us, but she really wouldn't give it up. A couple of people were eying us, but I tried to play it off. Miley was wide eyed, giving me a 'what the hell' look. She was backed up away from me just a bit, her head cocked to the side a touch.

"Aright," She almost spat, "Relax. I was just trying to set you up, okay? No harm."

"I _just_ broke up with Matt," We continued to walk and the people around us set their gazes else where, "I don't want another boyfriend." I glanced over at Miley and she seemed to have gone back to normal, thankfully. I didn't mean to get mad at her, I really didn't, but I couldn't help it. All of the banter had just thrown me back into a memory I didn't really want to remember and I couldn't help it. But before I had to justify myself any further, I felt the vibration in my back pocket. _One new message_. I quickly clicked it open, Immediately seeing Nate's name at the top. _Did you just walk past us?_ My eyebrows furrowed as I read the message. Slowly, I looked over my shoulder and then back at the message. Miley watched me carefully, trying to read the message without me knowing. _Buzz. One new message._ I clicked that open too. _Yeah, thats you, because you just looked over here._ One eyebrow became raised from its position, and then I felt the tap on my shoulder.

I whipped around, coming face to face with a stranger. Slowly, I took a slight step back to get a better look at him. Miley was already busy giving a hug to the other boy standing there. In my mind I knew that this must've been Nate and Shane, but I really didn't see it. They were so well disguised. But then again, I couldn't really be expected to pick them out of a crowd because I had never met them before.

"Wow, it's been forever, hasn't it?" His smooth voice came out. Without hesitation, a smile spread across my face. It was definitely him.

"Oh, of course. Ages," He smiled too at the distant memory. That was before _Hannah_ pounced on him, squeezing him into a tight hug. His eyes lost mine and he turned to her, hugging her back. Through the awkward moment, I managed to catch Shane's gaze and we both gave each other a wave and an awkward smile. After the quick greeting, we all began on some sort of adventure for today which consisted of walking the mall for now.

We walked past several stores, walking in sometimes for a few moments to check out a couple things. We never stayed long though. We mostly just walked around and talked, or rather Shane and Miley talked. Me and Nate just walked side by side, adding in a few remarks to the other two's conversation. I tried desperately not to notice the amount of times Nate was subtly bumping into me, but my mind had a counter of its own. I was at twelve now, just so you know, and ever time he did, I could only try and hide my smile. We shared a few small looks, but for talking _all week long, _we really didn't have a lot to say now.

Do you ever get that feeling of an instant connection? When your just _drawn_ to someone? Thats the feeling that nagged at me when I thought about Nate. I had known him just one week and already I felt so comfortable. Well, maybe the comfort was missing right now, but that was mostly because I was worried about making an awful impression. See, thats another thing. I barely knew him and yet I was so concerned about what he thought about me. But while I may have been nervous, I also felt extremely at ease. Like I could do anything or say anything and he'd still be here.

"Oooh!" I heard Miley squeal. I watched her as she leaned up against the glass of the store window. It was a pet shop. She smiled as she brought her finger up, tracing along the glass as a little kitten pounced around trying to catch her. "Lets go in here," She spoke, a wide grin on her face. She grabbed Shane's hand since he was the closest, trying to drag him in. He, of course, obliged.

"I'm actually going to grab a drink over there," Nate spoke loudly, trying to gain the attention of Miley and Shane as they bounded into the store. He sighed, knowing that neither of them had even bothered to try and hear him. "You coming?" He smiled, nudging me. I smiled back too, barely nodding as we walked off towards the 'store' a few feet away.

"So you're awfully quite today," He smiled, leaning against the counter. A man came over to the register and Nate mumbled off his order: an extra large strawberry smoothie, which was ironically my favourite. He waited for an answer from me as the blender went off in the background.

"Eh," I mumbled, standing next to him, "Alright. What would _you_ like to talk about?"

"Hmm," He was thinking, mockingly of course, until his smoothie came. His face lit up into a smile and he paid the man at the counter before taking a huge sip. He took a rather large, satisfying breath, and then offered the straw to me.

"This is _so_ good," He said, "Want some?" I just shook my head.

"No thanks."

"Come on, you gotta try it," He raised his eyebrows and jutted his lower lip out.

"I have. Its my favourite," I confessed.

"Then have some," He insisted again, pushing the drink closer to me.

"No thanks, really," I smiled politely, "I'm a bit of a germ freak. I don't share drinks."

"Alright," He smiled. I watched him carefully as he turned back around to face the counter. I wasn't sure why we were still standing here if he already had his smoothie. "Can I get another one of these?!" He yelled to the man, who was almost in the back of the shop. The man looked over, deciphering the message and then nodding at Nate's request.

"No Nate," I groaned, "Don't."

"And why not?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because don't," I sighed, "You don't need to get me one, really."

"Too late," He smiled as the blender came on, signifying that my smoothie was already being made. I didn't want him to spend his money on me, and I felt awful about him having to do it, but in some ways, I did like it. I wasn't used to this. I wasn't used to people being so.. nice? Was that really the word. I knew him for a week and he had already offered up his money to pay for a six dollar smoothie just because I was a germ freak and wouldn't have a sip of his. It made my heart squeeze just a little bit. Maybe I _would_ let Miley set me up with him. It would save me from having to do the work myself. Besides, the way that it sounded when we were bickering before, she had already clued him in on it. I smiled- But it didn't last long.

I could smell it easily- it was so recognizable to me. My eyes snapped shut, trying to place greater emphasis on the scent floating through the air. My breath came out heavy and my hands balled up into fists. It took a lot of restraint to keep me from going back, and I didn't want this to ruin it. I didn't want _him_ to ruin it. I didn't want this to really be happening.

He was strolling through the door with ease. His arm was wrapped around the shoulders of a dainty brunette girl. Her hand reached up to play with the fingers of the arm draped over her. They walked step in step, all of their other friends following along beside them. They were laughing up a storm when I was sure there wasn't even something funny. I knew all too well what they were doing. I didn't have to be right up close, staring him in the eyes to tell that he was baked.

I heard the slam behind me and I whipped around to find the smoothie. My hands tightly gripped the counter as I tried desperately to get a hold of myself. _Deep breaths, Lilly_,_ you can do this_. I focused carefully on the air filling and leaving my lungs, attempting not to overhead any parts of their conversation.

"Hey man," One of the friends I unfortunately knew as Greg spoke. He tried to finish his sentence but he couldn't stop laughing. He too was stoned, of course.

"Yeah, Greg?" Matt asked, rather loopy. His head lolled to the side casually to give Greg a quick look.

"Maaaaaan," Greg laughed again, "Where's Lillaayyyyy?"

"Your still with her?" The brunette snapped, looking up at Matt, livid. He merely laughed, shaking his head and pulling her tighter into his body.

"'Course not, Amanda," He assured her. So _this_ was Amanda?, "Fuckkkk her." He drawled out. His left foot crossed over his right foot slightly and he stumbled momentarily before catching himself again.

"Hit it?" Another friend, Paul, commented, raising an eyebrow.

"Come on man," Matt could barely answer, "Its me. Total fuck and chuck. Easyyyy lay." I couldn't listen to any more before the tears started welling up in my eyes. I heard myself sniffle and I immediately yelled at myself. Nate didn't know, and I didn't want him to know. The minute I opened my eyes, I saw the smoothie man staring me down and Nate giving me a very concerned look.

"Lola," He tilted his head. I felt his hand reach out to touch my shoulder and instinctively I drew away from him. I didn't want to be touched, and I especially didn't want to be here.

"Lola, are you oka-"

"Um," I cut him off, my voice surely cracking, "Um, I need to go, okay?" My eyes were carefully examining the floor and I felt the first tear make its way down my cheek. Automatically, my hand reached up and wiped it away. I kept convincing myself that Nate wouldn't have a clue, but I'm sure that I was at least tipping him off that _something_ was wrong.

"Lola, what's wrong?" He dipped his head trying to meet my eyes, but of course I looked away. I don't think it even really mattered that I was wearing huge sunglasses. He knew, and I knew that he knew I wasn't alright.

"I can't be here right now," Was the only excuse I made before I left him standing at the smoothie place. I spared him a glance over my shoulder and I kept that picture in my mind. His eyes were watching me walk away, so confused. His mouth was moving slightly as if he were trying to make sense of it all to himself, because clearly I was insane. But when I left that day, I thought that I had needed to get out of there, to go home and be by myself for a while. What I didn't realize, and wouldn't realize until it was too late, was that all I needed had been standing right there beside me with an extra large strawberry smoothie in hand.

**A/N: And that was chapter two. Hopefully the event which caused Lilly and Matt's breakup has become somewhat clearer. Also, the writing style is different than in chapter one, I hope thats alright. Everything will be in _Lilly_'s POV for the most part. Anyone have any suggestions for future chapters? I have a basic story line, but I also wouldn't mind your input. Question: What do you think of Nate's name? Nathaniel James Told. I chose Told as his last name because it reminded me of a singer named Shane Told, and since Shane happens to be Nate's friend in this story, well, yeah you get it. **

**ALSO: I'm currently I'm currently starting to work on a new story (I know, I shouldn't with DLSS still unfinished- and hardly started). I'm unsure of the title. As of now, it's either going to be Targeted, Midnight Attack, Every Waking Moment, or Prey, Unless I come up with a really awesome name, (Since these ones kind of fall short of the impact I wanted). The pairing will be chosen by the Poll at the top of my profile. As for a summary, this is the most I can give you right now, "_I'm terrified to open my eyes, to find something there next to me. But more than that, I'm afraid to open my eyes and see nothing. To see nothing and know that something so invisible and unreal can have this kind of control over me." -_PM or Review and tell me what you think of it, or if you have any awesome titles to share.**

**Review Please!**


	3. Authors Note

**A/N: Firstly, my apologies to those of you who thought this was a chapter. I know I'm not supposed to be posting authors notes as chapters, but I wanted to tell you all that this story is now on Hiatus. I have absolutely no idea when I will come back to it, or if I ever will. **

**Last chapter there were very few reviews. I understand though, considering I had started the story a long time ago and was updating months after the initial post. However, the reviews aren't the main factor. Not that I've lost interest in writing the story, but a lot of other plots have become much more interesting at the moment, and if neither I or you are currently interested in this piece, then I figure I should focus more on developing the other plots. If I'm up to it, I may type out another chapter and tack this A/N to the end of it so it wont be illegal, but other than that updates will be very few and far between. My apologies if you were one of the few that were enjoying DLSS thus far.**

**On a separate note, please don't forget to vote on the poll on my profile for pairings, as it will be taken into consideration for the upcoming story that should be posted shortly.**

**Much love and apologies,**

**Linaxx.**


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